Meet My Client, Joe.

Meet Joe,

Joe is 40 years old.He’s built a great life for himself—a successful career, a solid circle of friends, financial stability, and a love for travel. He’s done a lot of work on himself over the years. He’s no stranger to therapy, is very self-aware, and, at this point, fully exploring and embracing his sexuality feels like the last frontier.

Joe came out as gay just last year. So far, he’s only told a few close friends and a couple of family members, all of whom have been supportive. He’s not in a rush to tell the entire world, but he’s eager to explore what physical intimacy with other men could look like.

He knows that he craves deeper intimacy and connection, but he’s not sure what that even looks like or how to make it happen. The gay dating scene feels overwhelming. The sexual and hookup side of it brings up even more questions, anxieties, and insecurities. He often feels late to the game—like he’ll never be able to “catch up.”

Joe booked an erotic massage since coming out. But it ended up being a failed attempt at achieving the connection he’s been looking for. The masseur was hot, but the experience felt impersonal, transactional, and even mechanical. There was barely any conversation before he was told to get naked and lie on the table. Joe felt anxious the entire time, unable to find arousal, and left thinking the masseur was silently judging him. It felt like the masseuse was completely uninterested and just there to turn a buck.

Joe lists himself as a “Top” on the apps, but he’s only ever topped a woman. Bottoming and exploring anal pleasure feel impossible to him. The curiosity is there, but so are layers of internalized homophobia and having no idea where to start. Not to mention, the idea of douching completely freaks him out.

His inexperience makes it hard to even commit to meeting up with anyone. He worries he won’t be able to perform—or that he’ll end up in situations he’s not ready for. He wishes he could take things slow but fears being judged for it.

All of Joe’s friends are straight. They’re supportive, but they can’t really relate to what he’s going through. He’s been trying to navigate this new terrain alone, but without any real peer or professional guidance, he hasn’t been making any fulfilling progress.

He knows he could keep shooting in the dark and eventually find his way, but he’s getting discouraged and impatient. 

Joe’s well-resourced, grounded, and genuinely ready for more. And while it stirred some insecurities about what it “means” to hire this kind of help, he reached out anyway and booked a consultation.

Click Here to Read - Working with Joe, Chapter 1

**Joe is not a real client. He’s a composite character inspired by patterns and experiences drawn from numerous real clients. His story doesn’t represent any single individual, but reflects some of the challenges my work helps clients navigate.