Undressing Ritual

The Undressing Ritual as a Doorway

Undressing rituals have been a part of my bodywork sessions since the very beginning of my practice.The act of removing our clothes becomes a doorway into deeper intimacy—a vehicle for energetic de-armoring and an orchestra of sensation.

Before even one piece of clothing comes off, I’m already using my hands, breath, mouth, chest, arms, and pelvis to enrich their body in a rich tapestry of contact.My touch moves from feather-light caresses to firm, full-body embraces and everything in between, drenching nearly every inch of their skin in sensation as each layer of clothing is slowly removed.

There are several layers unfolding in this process, so I’ll speak to it through a few different lenses.

Energetic De-Armoring and Vulnerability

First, as I’m undressing my clients, I’m energetically de-armoring them.Instead of an abrupt, “Okay, get naked and get on the table,” I’m joining them in the process. I’m connected with them every step of the way as their body reaches new levels of exposure and deeper states of vulnerability.

I’m an energy worker first and foremost. And no matter how much someone consciously trusts me, energetically we all have some level of barriers up around intimacy—especially with someone new in an unfamiliar context.

The intensity of these barriers varies from client to client, depending on how much shame, fear, trauma, or insecurity lives in their system. Each layer of these energetic barriers is like a layer of an onion that I get to gently—or sometimes not so gently—peel back and transmute as I access deeper levels of their core essence, where our true erotic nature comes alive.

Somatic Safety and Nervous System Regulation

From a somatic standpoint, as I undress them, my body comes into contact with theirs in numerous ways and from all angles, allowing them to co-regulate with me and shift out of the sympathetic nervous system response (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) and into deeper levels of the parasympathetic state (rest, relax, and digest).

I’m also showing their body, in real time, that safety is present through every type of touch and contact—which lays the groundwork for the rest of the session, where my touch and connection often reaches much higher peaks of intensity.

Exploring the Full Spectrum of Sensation and Pleasure

I like to look at the body as an orchestra—filled with so many different instruments of sensation and pleasure. This orchestra is capable of playing a wide range of songs and melodies of arousal. The point of the undressing ritual is to explore many of these instruments, and to discover and enjoy new pathways and compositions of pleasure to activate and savor.

The only education many of us have received around how to engage with another body sexually comes from porn and pop culture. What we see most commonly is rushing to get naked, stripping off clothes, and diving straight into genital touch and penetration. It’s a very “hard and fast” model of intimacy.

And don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with that approach, and there’s definitely a lot of fun to be had there. But what about the rest of the spectrum? What happens when we slow down and move delicately? When we interchange intensity with gentleness? When we play with rhythms that build anticipation, mystery, and surprise?

How do our sensation receptors change at each layer of undressing? What comes alive in the body with firm pressure over the crotch through jeans, compared to feather-light touch with just briefs? And what about the arcs of electricity that emerge when we pair contrasting instruments together—a tight grip on the scalp with a tickle along the undercarriage? Teeth nibbling at the ears while hands dance over other curves and crevices?

Half the beauty here is in the exploration. We all have countless pathways to pleasure. Yet many of us fall into the same “tried and true” patterns—whether with ourselves or with a partner. We play the same melodies we’ve been playing for decades, rushing straight to the one or two instruments we know how to play.

So when we flip roles and my clients undress me, they’re invited to explore someone else’s orchestra. They get to release the narratives of what it should look like. They get to drop the pressure to perform that often lives in other intimate encounters. They’re given a clean slate to explore and enjoy another body, while practicing attunement—discovering what new melodies of pleasure they can begin to play.

You don’t go to the symphony to hear the same song played by only two or three instruments on repeat.

Let me show you how to stop doing that with your body.

Let me help you come alive in new ways.

Let me introduce you to deeper wonders of flesh.